Dan Eagleman

A former American football coach turned GHQ Colonel, this energetic officer is known for his infectious optimism and frequent use of the word "guts" during motivational pep talks. While his upbeat personality boosts morale, his leadership is marked by extreme irresponsibility and baffling inefficiency. He famously squanders massive military resources on trivial tasks, often employing absurdly impractical tactics, such as tilting anti-air missile vehicles sideways just to achieve a direct firing trajectory.